Where, where to now? Not here and not there… ~_~
I’ve been putting so much stress on myself, whether to go for dance as a career or going for something that has a so called ‘future’ for me cos i’ve got a degree. Is those times where you really think what you really wanna do with ya life, what you wanna see yourself as in the future.
Just had a conversation with my parents on these, as usual, i told them that i have the places in uni, but i might not wanna get in cos i wanna get a dip in dance. The face they gave was total shock. Most parents would want their children to be doctors, engineers bla bla bla and the list goes on. So that it serves as an ‘iron’ bowl to them. But apparently, dance is not in their list. They find that one cant work long as age catches up with you, you will lose touch and start to be weak and cant do anything. Yes that is true, but is not just doing dancing, once you reach a stage you can direct peeps. ~_~
I cant see myself being an engineer, that is definitely not my line, i thought of going into business, but i did not get into that course. I got myself into Science (Physics) but thats way crazy, im no einstein. I also cant see myself wearing a coat and start saying scientific words. Its crazy!
Now its a matter of choosing ”do it for the sake of ya parents” or go for your passion and interest. ARGH!!!! This whole thing is such a bitch! I just wanna scream. SCREAMMMM!
Shitty shit shit…
I’ve not blogged for so long already! Haiz, just have a lot going on nowadays. Mom’s on chemotherapy now, so she cant do much of the house work and chores. Had to call for a part time maid to take of this cos im in camp from morning till evening, dad’s working from morning till night. And at least theres someone to take care of her during this period when we’re away. And recently, i’ve taken on the appointment as one of the show choreographers for SSA’s 40th Annivesary Celebration, Project 7777. Quite stressful as theres much things to be done. And lots of unconfirmed stuffs need to be checked out etc. Argh, everything is moving so slow!
Theres a charity event that is happening this coming saturday morning, asked the chingay peeps to participate. Argh, was kinda sian of it. I cant stay on one routine and doing again and again. Got sick of it, and i have so many commitments, and no one is taking care of it cos their too busy with their own things, i really wanted to not care about anything as i have more things that are of higher priority. But i just cant leave things just like that. Got quite pissed cos i feel like im the only person trying to make things happen but no one seems to care. so im practically doing this half-hearted-ly (wonder is there such a word LOL) Want to get this done and over with. I feel that HQ should have consulted us whether can we take on this event. But not take it and just tell the choreos that we have this event to take care, so please do it. We peeps have our own commitments! Argh, and the best thing is that it is happening so early in the morning, gawd another sleeping time taken away. Sian.
I have plenty on my mind as well, im still stuck in choosing to pursue a degree or pursue a dip in dance. If i pursue a degree, i will have a so called more ’stable’ income. Where as dance, is going for my passion and making my life more fulfilled. But reality does slaps you that there aint much of a market for dancers locally. ~_~ Headache ar! Shit… All this things kinda take a toll on me, so i’ve been a little low nowadays. And cant realli choreo a routine properly like i used to do. Wake up Mel, snap out of it! *SLAPS*
